Satireday on Shit Happens

Somali militants offer 10 camels for information on Barack Obama

Al-Shabaab mocks US bounty of up to $7m for whereabouts of group’s leaders with offer of camels and chickens

‘Whoever reveals the hideout of the idiot Obama will be rewarded with 10 camels,’ said Fuad Muhammad Khalaf of al-Shabaab. Photograph: Rex Features

A Somali Islamist militant group is offering rewards of chickens and camels for information on the whereabouts of the US president, Barack Obama, and secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, mocking the millions of dollars the United States has offered for leaders of the al-Qaida affiliate.

Fuad Muhammad Khalaf of al-Shabaab in Somalia made the offer after Friday prayers, according to the SITE Intelligence Group, which monitors militant organisations.

“Whoever reveals the hideout of the idiot Obama will be rewarded with 10 camels, and whoever reveals the hideout of the old woman Hillary Clinton will be rewarded with 10 chickens and 10 roosters,” he said, according to SITE.

On Thursday, the US state department offered a reward of $5m (£3.2m) each for the whereabouts of Khalaf and three associates, as well as $7m for information about the al-Shabaab founder and commander Ahmed Abdi aw-Mohamed. A bounty of $3m was offered for the location of two other officials of the organisation.

Source: The Guardian Read more

Opinion:

Of course there is always the reward of 72 virgins to consider…

Why is the USA Wooing Burma?

Hillary Clinton Burma visit: Suu Kyi hopeful on reforms

Hillary Clinton met Aung San Suu Kyi at the latter's Rangoon home

Aung San Suu Kyi has said she is hopeful that Burma can get on to “the road to democracy”, after talks with US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

She welcomed reforms that have enabled her party to stand in elections, but said more needed to be done and called for political prisoners to be freed.

The democracy leader held a morning of talks with Mrs Clinton, the most senior US official to visit Burma in 50 years.

They promised to work together to promote democracy in Burma.

“I am very confident that if we work together… there will be no turning back from the road to democracy,” said Ms Suu Kyi after the talks.

But she added that the country was “not on that road yet”.

Source: BBC News Read more

Opinion:

I can’t help but wonder why the USA is wooing Burma?

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against Burma. I am pleased to see this small nation fighting and clawing its way out of a military dictatorship. Burma is one of the fascinating places in the world and deserves a better future.

But I fear the choice of bed-fellows.

The USA does nothing for anybody unless it benefits the USA and it’s bid for global control. And, I kid you not, if you can’t see it then you are blind. The USA military machine is spreading like a virus over the globe. “Spreading democracy!” What a load of bullshit! Utter crap! “Spreading the American way,” more like it; and the American way is not all apple pie as it used to be.

But I do see that Burma is strategically placed to help the USA in the face of China’s equally despicable ambitions; particularly in relation to the South China Sea issue. Which, I might add, is going to come to the boil in the near future; a time frame that could see the USA militarily esconced in Burma.

All I can say is; “Watch this space.”